June 2013
Short Stories

Movie Buff

January 12th, 2013

My friends all tell me I should go out tonight. Sure, it’s been a while but there’s just no way. I got both seasons of The Walking Dead on Blu-Ray and I plan on getting through most of the episodes before I fall asleep. Yes, I’ve seen them all before but now I get to see them with no commercials. Granted, there is this huge party going on tonight, and that girl I been dying to meet will be there but whats the point? I never seem to muster up the courage to say anything to her anyway. I wonder what her favorite Spielberg Movie is? Shit, that’s what I should have asked her that day. I mean, she might actually like Indiana Jones as much as I do. That would be so dope.

Maybe I should go out. I got a closet full of new outfits that never get worn cause I’ve stayed in the past month watching flicks. But shit, ever since I got Netlix my life has changed for the better. I get to see practically every 80′s movie I ever missed as a kid or was never allowed to watch back in the days. I get to see documentary’s and indie films that Blockbuster would have never even offered in their prime. I wonder if anyone still goes to Blockbuster anymore? I can’t wait till they get put out of business just like they did to all my favorite video stores back in the day. You know, the ones with the secret rooms that had all the porn in the back. Those were the best.

I always thought when I was old enough I’d rent a bunch of porn, but with the internet just giving it away for free nowadays I figure whats the point? Hey, maybe if I do go out tonight I wont have to watch porn because I’ll actually get laid. That would be nice. I haven’t got laid in a while. Ever since I had that fight with my ex girlfriend about how bad movie studios adapt Nicolas Sparks novels she stopped sleeping with me. Plus, she HATED horror movies. I can’t even believe I dated someone who didn’t like horror movies in the first place, but I was young and naive.

If I ever get married it would have to be to someone who loves horror movies. Gross ones too. A girl who’s libido is still in full swing even after seeing someones eyes gouged out and their limbs cut from their body leaving a massive trail of blood spatter. But also a girl who enjoys a good comedy. Every horror obsessed girl I ever dated always turned their noses up to romantic comedy’s and Woody Allen flicks cause there is no violence. Speaking of Woody Allen I just bought Annie Hall on Blu-Ray and I still haven’t opened it yet. I guess when I meet the right girl I will.

Fuck it I’ll go out. Maybe I’ll have an experience that will inspire my own movie one day. I mean, even if the dialogue or plot line sucks I know someone will watch it cause there will be sex & drugs. Well, tonight I’m not sure about the sex part but there will definitely be drugs. Who cares if my night turns out to be one of those B-movies that just ends up in the bottom of those bargain bins at Wal-Mart. Who cares if my film doesn’t have much re-watch potential? Some of the best movies I’ve seen I’ve only watched once. I think I’ll finally call my friends back tonight.

{Calls Friends on the phone}

Me- “Hey guy’s it’s me. I’m finally coming out tonight!”

Friends- “Nick! Good to hear from you pal! Guess what? The party is canceled we’re all going to the movies instead. You in?

Me- “Definitely.”

Photo- Cover Art for the 1982 Horror film “Poltergeist”

Strangers

November 20th, 2012

Breakfast was uncomfortable this morning. She hardly said two words to me. She just stared off into space, swirling the spoon around in her cereal until all that was left was a soggy bowl of flakes. “Your losing all the ‘crunch’ in your Cinnamon Toast.” I said to her, trying to lighten the mood. “Ha. Ha.” She said, clearly annoyed. “I’m just not that hungry, that’s all.” I had never known her not to eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast crunch before. It was obvious something was bothering her, but I couldn’t tell what. There had been a cloud of melancholy hanging over her head for about a week now, today it seemed as if it had opened up and rained.

Dinner proved even worse. Not that I had anything fancy planned, but I did spend a few hours preparing a chicken tetrazzini for her, one of her favorite dishes. She was lost in her phone, scrolling up and down instargam and twitter timelines, avoiding any and all eye contact with me whatsoever. “The pasta’s cold.” She said. “Would you like me to microwave it for you……DEAR?” I asked, slightly gritting my teeth. “No, no. It’s fine.” She said, still not even looking at me. “I think I’m gonna go for a drive.” “Would you like some company?” I asked. “No, not this time. I just need to be alone.” She said, as she walked out the door.

In bed, she turned over on her left side so she wouldn’t face me, slid my arm off of her hip, and wrapped herself nice and snug underneath the covers. She liked it freezing cold at night, fan on full blast, air conditioning at 65. Tonight it was below 60, and she had denied me any access to my blanket and certainly to her body warmth. I just lie there on my back. Cold, confused, sad, and yet, still slightly horny. “I’m cold baby.” I said. “Any chance you could bring that sexy body of yours over here and warm me up?” “I’m not feeling well.” She replied. “I don’t wanna get you sick. Gotta long day tomorrow. Goodnight.”

The next morning she was gone before I even woke up. I called her a few times that day but she never answered. I was pretty confused. She finally called me back about a week later. “Hey, do you have those Blu- Rays I left at your house? You know, the scary ones that we found at Wal-Mart at the bottom of those bargain bins? I think it was Evil Dead… or.. Dead Alive? I dunno, something with the word “dead” in it. Anyway, I have some girlfriends coming over and I think it’ll gross em the fuck out.” She said. “Is there something wrong?” I asked. “You haven’t even returned my phone call in over a week and all of a sudden you want Blu-Rays?” “I’m fiiiiiiiine.” She said. “Just super stressed with this new job and now I just wanna unwind and have some fun with the girls, so can I get those movies or noooot?” She asked. “Sure, c’mon over.”

“Oh my God I totally forgot I left this Aveda hair conditioner in your shower!” She said, as she walked into my bathroom. “My hair has been a mess lately without it. I’ve been using my sister’s Aussie and it’s makes my hair look horrendous, but it really does smell good.” “Ohh. yeah. Still here…” I said, as she continued gathering stuff around my place. “Score! I forgot that I left my Beats by Dre headphones here. Everyone in the library freaks out because I HAVE to play 2 Chainz lately when I’m doing my homework. Without headphones people think I’m a total bitch.” “You’re listening to 2 Chainz now?” I asked, puzzled. She ignored me.

“Thanks!” She said, as she gathered up everything she could find, gave me a kiss on the cheek and left before I could really wrap my head around what was going on. The next few weeks she only talked to me in one word text messages, “cool”, “yeah”, “good”, & “k” were the most common. I was really starting to freak out. I tried calling her girl friends and they wouldn’t answer. I called her guy friends, they ignored me too. I got so mad I even threw a sneaker through my bedroom window. I even got into a car accident because I continually cut people off and honked the horn at every asshole who I thought was going too slow. I wasn’t feeling well. The week after that the text messages stopped completely. All I wanted to do after that was sleep in.

Another few weeks passed and then I saw her. At the same Whole Foods we would always eat at when we both agreed we were eating way to much junk food. My stomach was doing somersaults. She was with a really good looking guy and they both were laughing and looked really happy.”Chelsea! hey, I missed you so much! What have you been up to you never return my calls?!” I said, interrupting their conversation. “Oh hey Nick.” She said smiling. “This is Brian. After you cheated on me last month with my friend Jenna I met him and we’ve been getting along great. He has a motorcycle and he does photography. He’s even getting me on the cover of the new February edition of “Bitches, Bikes, & Beer.” Isn’t that fantastic?!! Anyway, we’re kind of in the middle of lunch right now. Text me later!” She said, as they both went back to their prior conversation.

I felt as if a bag of bricks had dropped onto my head. She found out I had cheated on her. Of course she did. What did I expect? They were good friends for Christ sakes. I felt like throwing another shoe through another window but I stopped myself because I knew I was wrong. I don’t even know why I felt so bad. I was actually planning on breaking up with Chelsea before she started ignoring me. Ever since then she’s all I could think about. And now that I look at it, her and the motorcycle douche bag actually look good together. No matter how bad I wanted knock out his teeth I couldn’t because she looked like she was having such a great time with him. All I could do was sigh, hang my head, and drag my feet out of Whole Foods to get some chicken wings and beer at Hooters instead.

Chelsea and I saw each other from time to time after that. Sometimes we would wave, sometimes we would say hi, but after a while we just walked passed each other like complete strangers. That’s all we were now, complete strangers.

Love Hangover

November 14th, 2012

It’s three in the afternoon, the sun outside is shining bright, but in my room it’s still pitch black. My head is buried under my pillows and my stomach is tied in knots. I don’t want to move. I can’t move. I don’t wanna do anything. I CAN’T do anything, even if I wanted to. Every time I try and think of something happy, thoughts of her just fight off the notion, until I’m victim of overwhelming pessimism. I can picture her outside, smiling, happy, as if we never existed and it makes me sick. Everything I’ve ever said to her repeats over and over in my head, every mistake I’ve ever made keeps taunting me, I ache with regret. All I can do is look at my phone over and over, scrolling through old text messages, awaiting a new one from her but it never comes.

I’m way too hungry to keep laying here in bed, but there is no way I can bring myself to cook anything. My mouth is stale, my throat is dry and bitter from thirst. I could really benefit from a good teeth brushing. I look myself in the mirror but I’m disgusted with what I see, the person I’ve become in the last 48 hours. My face is as pale as a ghost and the bags under my eyes look as if I’ve been in a fist fight. I smell ripe, as if I haven’t showered in weeks but it’s only been a couple days. There’s no way I can keep going on like this.

I run myself a hot shower and it feels amazing. The intense heat is ultimately soothing but it makes me feel like crying. The tears won’t come so I just scream instead. I scrub myself viciously with body wash and I shampoo my scalp so hard I’m surprised that no hair has fallen out. I’m drying off and staring at my face in the mirror again. Wondering where the charming fun guy I used to be has gone to. I need to shave. As angry as I feel I’m careful when I shave, using the blade with exact precision. I brush my teeth for what feels like a half an hour, floss so deep that my gums begin to bleed all in the bathroom sink. I spit out mouthwash with intense disdain. I look myself in the mirror again. I clean up well.

Filthy clothes are strewn about my room and I’m tempted to wear them. I stare at my closet for what seems like an hour, just standing there, staring at my clothes as if they were a black hole. I’m repulsed by half of my wardrobe because it reminds me of her. I spot a brand new bag from H&M at the foot of my closet, forgetting I had just been there for the grand opening on Lincoln road and I get dressed. I rip off the price tags and I start to feel a bit better. As I head out of my apartment to the shops of Midtown, an overwhelming bitterness sweeps over me. I see couples holding hands, window shopping and walking their dogs and I feel weak. I clench my fists and grit my teeth and I want to scream but I keep my composure.

I wave to the happy couples as I pass by, even stop to pet their dogs, secretly wishing they were dead. I pass a few pretty girls, single ones, girls who just weeks ago I would have approached, but today I just sneer at them and keep walking. I want to eat something but I don’t know what. I look at menus but the words just seem like they’re jumbled up letters and I can’t make out anything they say. “I just want a sandwich and some soup.” I tell the waiter. “This is a Chinese restaurant sir. We have Wanton soup if you like.” The waiter says. “No.” I reply. “I want french onion soup. Don’t you have any fucking french onion soup?!” I yell at the waiter, not really knowing why.

Annoyed, I get up and leave and I decide to have pizza, the least complicated food there is. I stare at my phone, pressing every application that I have for no apparent reason. I get a text message. It’s one of those mass text messages inviting me to some lame party I’ll never go to and I feel as if I’m going to lose it. I get another text message. It’s her. She want’s to talk. She’s sorry for how distant she’s been acting lately and she assures me it’s not my fault it’s her. She just needed a bit of space because she felt as if things were moving way too fast. She thanks me for understanding and wants to see me. She loves me, she says. I love her too. A wave of calm rushes over me. I feel like I can actually breathe again. I stare at a picture of both of us and I feel whole, amazed at the intense emotions that love can conjure up inside me. Falling in love is hard, I think to myself.

Photo by Lex Hernandex www.8mts.com

Romance will have to wait.

August 6th, 2012

I wish romance would have brought me here. I wish that discussions of poetry and literature over a dimly lit candle and home cooked meal would have led me to this moment. It seems as if I’m cheating. Like as if I entered a cheat code on a video game and ended up at the last level before I even got to enjoy the game. I can’t say that I’m disappointed though, her body is spectacular and her sexuality is unlike any that I ever met. It’s not like she was easy either, it took months to even get her to agree to see me after we first met, but that’s because our schedules are completely different. What I’m missing is the romance. The romance that only seems to exist in Nicholas Sparks novels and old Hollywood films. Most of the blame falls on me however, I indulged her superficialities early on in order to build rapport. I seem to underestimate that my knowledge of EDM dj’s and my appreciation for designer clothing brands can be such a big turn on to some. Who am I kidding? I wanted this right? Anybody else would kill for a chance with her. But here I am again, thinking with my dick instead of my heart. It’s not like romance is totally out of the question, it’s not like I can’t spring for a spontaneous hot air balloon ride or a picnic in the park or something with her, but my heart and my dick are not in agreement on this one. Until they are, romance will have to wait.

She’s undressing now. Chris Brown’s “Strip” came up on my iTunes playlist and now she’s going for it. How’d that song even get on there any way? Ohh yeah, Pandora. I wonder if she knows who Luther Vandross is? Does that even matter? To my heart it does, to my dick, not at all. Would she still be stripping if Chris Brown wasn’t playing? I wondered. There’s a naked girl on my bed and all I can think about is if she knows about Luther Vandros or not? Whats wrong with me? I’ll just ask her. “Luthor Vandross?” She replied puzzled. “Isn’t he part of the 2 Live crew?” And with that, I simply shook my head, smiled, and let my dick take over for the rest of the evening. Because until my heart and my dick are in total agreement, romance will just have to wait.

Anthony Nicholas


Nick Flash

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